A good leader leads by example. What does that really mean?

The last time I was told that "a good leader is one who leads by example", I thought "oh okay, but what does that really mean?" I decided to explore this definition further and hope that my understanding can inspire you to take action as a leader.

‘Leading by example’ is a term commonly used in relation to effective leadership. It implies that a good leader sets an example for their followers (people who look up to them for inspiration and direction) to follow. In short followers emulate their leader.

What do they emulate though? What if their leader sets a bad example? Is the leader still leading by example? Well, yes. They are still setting an example for their followers to emulate!

Let’s say you are leading a team at work. You join meetings late, humiliate your team members when they ask questions that seem stupid to you, and threaten to expel anybody who challenges your opinions. What kind of behaviour do you think your team members will emulate at work? The same as yours! You have set the tone. You are leading by example.

If on the other hand, you are logged on or present before your meetings start, you ask questions when you aren’t clear on something, and you invite others to offer alternative perspectives to yours, you are setting a very different example for your team members to follow.

Let's put aside the question are you leading by example, and ask instead: what kind of example do you want to set?:

• Good or bad?

• Progressive or retrogressive?

• Edifying or destructive?

• Helpful or unhelpful?

What are your answers? Hopefully you chose good, progressive, edifying and helpful!

Your answers point to what you want to achieve as a leader. This is your starting point for taking action by choosing and demonstrating the type of behaviour you want to model to your team members.

Before you take action though, here are some more helpful questions you can ask yourself:

1. What is my purpose in this role?

2. What is my purpose in life?

3. What are my personal values?

4. What legacy do I want to leave?

5. What leadership qualities do I want to instil in my team?

Once you are clear on your answers, start learning! Here are some steps you can take:

• Look for resources (books, podcasts, videos, courses etc.) that specifically address the skills you want to work on

• Get support from a mentor or coach

• Ask a friend or colleague to be your accountability partner

• Ask your team for feedback specifically on your leadership style.

Going back to our original question about what leading by example really means, we can see that the meaning comes from defining the purpose of our leadership role and what we want achieve in that role. Only then can we model what you want to see in our team members.

#youvegotthis